Whatevet It Is..!!!

It’s a desire that is so often felt..
It’s a hunger that cannot melt…
It’s a question I long to ask…
It’s a mystery, hard to unmask

It’s a feeling that’s not understood, sadness is healing but the pain still holds good.
Depression doesn’t really stand on my side, but the moistness of my eyes say that I’ve just cried.
It’s a state of mind I cant explain, my wounds don’t hurt and I don’t pain,
But I’m sore inside and it feels so vain, I’m longing for the satisfaction of feeling sane!!!

Is it discontent or regret?
Is it the painful memory I thought was dead?
Is it my inability to fight?
Or is it just another dark night?

Whatever it is…. I need to know!
It hides in me…but it needs to go!
Whatever it is, I wish it unwell…
Because when its with me, life feels like hell!!

I feel a little lighter with everything I say, I read it over and over day after day
I want all the regret to be washed away!!
I have to account for every tear that I’ve cried. I thought it was for good
But the truth can not be denied!!
This feeling always puts me down, I feel helpless when no one’s around
It always leaves me at a loss of words, when I’m aching
and my insides are about to burst.
It stands in my throat and bangs on the inside of my skin, its asking for a way out of my sin
But I cant always be put to blame, without being heard m trapped in my pain.

Is it the shame that keeps me quiet?
Is it my misconception of being right?
Is it a chaos created by my own views at conflict?
Or is it that me and remorse are becoming addicts?